


Falling

by Overdressedtokill (SkyeStan)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Dark!Skyeward, F/M, Violence, not actually dead for the course of the story but dead-ish now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-17
Packaged: 2018-02-17 17:59:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2318315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyeStan/pseuds/Overdressedtokill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A dark!Skyeward story in three parts.  Part 1: Ward faces the monster that was (is?) Skye.  And loses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Just a reminder that there is some violence in this first part. The next two parts need this part to, you know, exist, but this part is very sad and a little gruesome.

It was all his fault.  Grant knew that.  He knew that as surely as he knew that Skye could never be saved by someone like him.  

And yet.

He’d tried anyway, and he couldn’t think of why.  Why he tried. Why he’d gone in to face her.

He wanted to die.  He wanted to see her.  It was one of those two.  He wanted to prove something.  That she was still good, or that she was capable of ending his life.  The two didn’t have to be mutually exclusive.  Not at all.  They could go hand in hand.  Skye could kill him, and still be good. 

But it was selfish.  So selfish, to have asked this of her.  So stupid.  So wrong.  He went anyway.  Without permission, without backup, without a gun.  He wasn’t stupid.  He wasn’t planning to walk out.

He told himself that this was what needed to happen.  That would he would, in his last moments, help her.  And he believed it.  He had to.

She’d get better after his blood stained her hands.  Once she knew she was rid of him.  This darkness in her, it had to be his fault.  And she’d get it out.  She would kill him, and it would be okay.  She wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

He’d said his peace.  He’d bargained.  It had been, in a word: Pathetic.  To confess his love for her, to remind her of her goodness, as she stared at him.  Not at him.  Through him.

And when she lunged at him, he didn’t move away.  He could have.  But he didn’t.

It set his veins on fire.  Her nails.  Her touch.  The way she carved into him, drew his blood.  She must have had poison in her veins.  She was going to use it all on him, though.  That was okay.

He deserved this.

“You’re good,” he offered, meekly, as the second cut came.  Deeper and longer than the first.  

He deserved this.

 

She punched him.  In the jaw.  In the nose.  She hit him and she grinned, all sharp teeth.  He feel to his knees, and felt his bones crack against pavement.

He could tell himself that she was acting on instinct.  That she didn’t recognize him, that she didn’t know what she was doing.

But he wasn’t going to lie anymore.  He could see it.  That spark of recognition, fading but still there, as she ripped into his skin.  She knew- She hated who he was.  She wanted him to bleed.  She wanted him to die.

He just wanted to give her whatever she needed.  And if this was it, so be it.

He couldn’t even feel the pain anymore.  Though he deserved the pain most of all. 

She growled in the back of her throat, and her hands, her claws, wrapped around his neck.

He looked up at her.  He wrapped his fingers around her wrists, just to feel her skin against his one last time.  There was so much blood.  She was drenched in it.

“Skye,” he croaked.  It hurt to speak.  More than usual.  She was crushing his windpipe.  She was killing him.

He deserved this.

His vision was starting to blur.   It was growing quiet, save for the dull roar of his body still trying to fight it.  Why was he still trying to fight it?

He’d just wanted to see her so badly.  He’d just wanted one thing for himself, even if he hadn’t earned it.  Never would earn it.  Never could.

He needed to see her one last time.  Not like this.  Never like this.  This wasn’t her.   This wasn’t Skye.  He needed, he needed-

He needed to pretend.  Maybe it was his mind fading, failing him.  It couldn’t be a vision.  Things like that didn’t exist.  But something willed her black eyes a soft brown again, even as reality kept her hands on his throat. 

Just one more moment.  Just one.

She was fuzzy around the edges, but she was here.  Skye was here, and it would be okay.

“What’s the matter, robot?” she asked.  She sounded so far away.  Nothing like the snarls and growls she’d let out before, that he heard right in his ear, in his body, in his heart.   

He felt something wet on his cheeks.  It was either blood or tears.  He couldn’t tell anymore.

“Skye,” he said. Or tried to say.  “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Grant,” she said.  Getting fuzzier.  Getting darker.  But Skye.  She was right there, and she was going to take him home. “I know. I’ve always known.”

He smiled at her, that dumb smile that came so naturally when she was around.  “I love you,” he murmured.  

Skye smiled. “Go to sleep, Grant,” she said.  “It’ll be okay.”

  
  


Silence.  Darkness.  It came suddenly, a mercy he’d been begging for.  If could’ve felt relief, he would have.  He belonged here.

But he felt nothing.  He heard nothing.  There had been hurt and something else, something all-consuming that he couldn’t remember.  Tugging on him, lightly, losing strength.  He barely noticed them at all.  Barely acknowledged the little tendrils of life that tried to pull him down.

For an instant, there was a voice.  A voice.  A tiny voice.  “Grant?” It sounded familiar.  It sounded tired.  “Grant, no, Grant- I didn’t mean to- You- I couldn’t stop- Grant, please, I need-”

It had worked.  That had to be it.  He recognized her voice.  Skye.  She came back and he’d helped her, he’d only ever wanted to help.

He didn’t need to pretend he was holding on anymore.  He didn’t even need to try.  He could drift.  Skye’s voice went away, and he was alone again.

He wasn’t even sure alone was the word for it.  Could you be alone if you didn’t exist?  Could you love if you had no idea what it was supposed to feel like?

No answers.  Only darkness.


End file.
